My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 4 years and have been living together in a rented apartment for 2 years.
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Yesterday she and I went to a party, there we both drank alcohol and had fun, at the party there was a guy who from time to time approached a ramdom woman and asked them “Can you give me a kiss on the cheek?” ” so that at the last second the guy moved his face causing his lips to collide with those of the girl he asked before.
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I warned my girlfriend about that guy, and she could even see it with her own eyes and I told her to be careful if he approaches her and asks for the same thing because there were also several girls who refused and he simply did not insist.
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A couple of hours later I was with my girlfriend and that guy comes up and asks my partner the same thing, she takes me aside to have a quick talk and tells me that nothing will happen, that if he tries She will move back herself so they don’t kiss.
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I told her that I did not agree with this at all and that I felt very uncomfortable, and that I would not take responsibility if she ended up doing it, she ignored what I said and ended up accepting.
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I don’t know why but I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t back away like she said and ended up kissing him. She then looked at me and got uncomfortable, then the boy went the other way to continue with his fun, I wasn’t mad at him, I was mad at her. I just turned around and went to our apartment, she followed me even though I didn’t tell her to do so, saying that she didn’t have time to react and that it wasn’t her fault, since we were in a public place I didn’t want to make a scene. so I waited until we got home.
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Once at home I told her that yes, it was entirely her fault, she saw how the guy did that with other women and I even warned her that this could happen and she still did it, she said that the alcohol made her act reckless. I told her not to come out with her shitty excuses, that she was fully aware of what happened and that this was pure infidelity to my damn face.
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At this moment she went to visit her sister because today is her birthday, I told her that I would not go and I told her explicitly that I want to reevaluate our relationship, if she is going to use alcohol as an excuse for her infidelities then I can’t trust her anymore, if she does that to my face I don’t want to imagine what she would do when she is with her friends.
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Before leaving she begged me not to exaggerate, that I can’t throw away 4 years for a non-consensual kiss, I told her that the moment she agreed to play that boy’s game she was already giving her consent to what could pass, she is already an adult and I expected her to act according to her age.
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The more time passes, the more I want to tell her to go to hell, the rent contract ends at the end of the year but I was thinking of using a part of our savings to pay the rest and end it prematurely, I don’t want to be with someone who can grab, kiss the first idiot I meet at a party and wait for me to accept it without problems.
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On the other hand, it makes me quite sad to have to leave the relationship, but forgiving a lack of respect of this magnitude is opening the door to more things like this happening in the future. My younger sister and my parents agree with me, but my older brother (who is the closest person to me in the family) thinks it can be solved, I really don’t know what to do.
